{"id":712,"date":"2021-05-22T16:18:37","date_gmt":"2021-05-22T16:18:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jsemtuprotebe.cz\/?p=712"},"modified":"2022-11-15T10:58:37","modified_gmt":"2022-11-15T09:58:37","slug":"syndrom-mizejiciho-dvojcete-vztahy-aneb-hledani-toho-co-bylo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jsemtuprotebe.cz\/index.php\/2021\/05\/22\/syndrom-mizejiciho-dvojcete-vztahy-aneb-hledani-toho-co-bylo\/","title":{"rendered":"Syndrom mizej\u00edc\u00edho dvoj\u010dete: Vztahy aneb hled\u00e1n\u00ed toho, co bylo"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

P\u0159e\u017eiv\u0161\u00ed d\u011blo\u017en\u00ed dvoj\u010de tr\u00e1v\u00ed cel\u00fd sv\u016fj \u017eivot t\u00edm, \u017ee n\u011bco hled\u00e1, ale nev\u00ed co. Ka\u017ed\u00fd nov\u00fd vztah p\u0159in\u00e1\u0161\u00ed iluzi napln\u011bn\u00ed, ale ten z\u00e1kladn\u00ed strach z opu\u0161t\u011bn\u00ed se brzy projev\u00ed. <\/strong>Ten strach je tak intenzivn\u00ed, \u017ee d\u011blo\u017en\u00ed dvoj\u010de je obvykle ten\/ta, kdo prvn\u00ed opou\u0161t\u00ed toho druh\u00e9ho. Tak\u017ee m\u00e1 tendenci proch\u00e1zet \u0159adou vztah\u016f, je st\u00e1le osam\u011blej\u0161\u00ed a osam\u011blej\u0161\u00ed a v\u017edy hled\u00e1 toho \u201ezvl\u00e1\u0161tn\u00edho\u201c n\u011bkoho, kter\u00e9ho nikdy v sou\u010dasnosti nenajde jednodu\u0161e proto, \u017ee pat\u0159\u00ed do minulosti.<\/strong> I kdy\u017e je d\u011blo\u017en\u00ed dvoj\u010de sv\u00e9mu partnerovi odd\u00e1no, m\u016f\u017ee bloudit ve sv\u00e9m srdci a neust\u00e1le pochybovat o spr\u00e1vnosti sv\u00e9ho rozhodnut\u00ed a p\u0159em\u00fd\u0161let, jestli by jinde na\u0161lo v\u011bt\u0161\u00ed \u0161t\u011bst\u00ed.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Obecn\u011b se tedy jedn\u00e1 o slo\u017eitost vztah\u016f, kter\u00e9 jsou v pozad\u00ed ovlivn\u011bny lidmi z d\u0159\u00edv\u011bj\u0161\u00edch f\u00e1z\u00ed \u017eivota, zde mizej\u00edc\u00edm dvoj\u010detem. Zvl\u00e1\u0161t\u011b pro p\u0159e\u017eiv\u0161\u00ed dvoj\u010de se jedn\u00e1 o vztah ve st\u00ednech se ztracen\u00fdm dvoj\u010detem, kter\u00e9 je kl\u00ed\u010dov\u00fd faktor, kter\u00fd ovliv\u0148uje sou\u010dasn\u00e9 vztahy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ti, co jsou d\u011blo\u017en\u00ed dvoj\u010data kdysi za\u017eili vztah na nejvy\u0161\u0161\u00ed \u00farovni (nejlep\u0161\u00ed dosa\u017eiteln\u00fd nebo p\u0159edstaviteln\u00fd sv\u00e9ho druhu). Za\u010dalo to po\u010det\u00edm a skon\u010dilo to p\u0159edt\u00edm, ne\u017e sotva za\u010dal. Bylo to jako kdyby dvoj\u010data p\u0159i po\u010det\u00ed uzav\u0159eli s\u0148atek a p\u0159ed porodem se rozvedli. Tak\u017ee dvoj\u010de bez dvoj\u010dete bloud\u00ed \u017eivotem a st\u00e1le hled\u00e1 to, co kdysi poznalo. \u017d\u00e1dn\u00fd jin\u00fd vztah, ani ten s matkou, nem\u016f\u017ee m\u00edt p\u0159ednost p\u0159ed t\u00edm prvotn\u00edm spojen\u00edm, dokud tato d\u0159\u00edv\u011bj\u0161\u00ed vazba nen\u00ed uzn\u00e1na.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

TEN \u201ePRAV\u00dd\u201c \/ TA \u201ePRAV\u00c1\u201c<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\u017divot dvoj\u010dete bez dvoj\u010dete lze \u010dasto charakterizovat nekone\u010dn\u00fdm hled\u00e1n\u00edm t\u00e9 prav\u00e9 osoby. P\u0159e\u017eiv\u0161\u00ed dvoj\u010data mohou b\u00fdt nevyl\u00e9\u010diteln\u00ed romantici, kte\u0159\u00ed jsou \u010dasto z\u00e1visl\u00ed na zamilovanosti. Tolik z nich si nese hluboce zako\u0159en\u011bnou v\u00edru, \u017ee n\u011bkde tam venku je ta dokonal\u00e1 polovi\u010dka, se kterou se mohou c\u00edtit naprosto celistv\u00ed a \u00fapln\u011b doma. V\u0161echny tyto vztahy obvykle za\u010d\u00ednaj\u00ed se zahlcuj\u00edc\u00ed p\u0159ita\u017elivost\u00ed, ale kon\u010d\u00ed frustrac\u00ed a zklam\u00e1n\u00edm. <\/strong>D\u011blo\u017en\u00ed dvoj\u010data mohou b\u00fdt docela spoluz\u00e1visl\u00e1, kdy nemohou b\u00fdt ani od sebe ani spole\u010dn\u011b, co\u017e je p\u0159esn\u00fd odraz d\u0159\u00edv\u011bj\u0161\u00edho vztahu dvoj\u010dat. Proto\u017ee maj\u00ed tendenci se hledat navz\u00e1jem a c\u00edt\u00ed takov\u00e9 propojen\u00ed du\u0161\u00ed,<\/strong> je pro d\u011blo\u017en\u00ed dvoj\u010data docela obvykl\u00e9, \u017ee si vezmou jin\u00e9 d\u011blo\u017en\u00ed dvoj\u010de, jeho\u017e podv\u011bdom\u00e1 zku\u0161enost byla tak podobn\u00e1. D\u011blo\u017en\u00ed dvoj\u010de st\u00e1le tam venku n\u011bkoho nebo n\u011bco hled\u00e1, co\u017e lze ale objevit pouze uvnit\u0159 sebe sama.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

ROMANTICK\u00c1 POSEDLOST<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Sandra se identifikovala jako d\u011blo\u017en\u00ed dvoj\u010de, kter\u00e9 ztratilo dvoj\u010de \u2013 chlape\u010dka. V sou\u010dasnosti m\u011bla vztah s mu\u017eem, kter\u00e9ho poci\u0165ovala jako sp\u0159\u00edzn\u011bnou du\u0161i (du\u0161i dvoj\u010dete). Byla to ale jednostrann\u00e1 z\u00e1le\u017eitost, ten mu\u017e nebyl ani dostupn\u00fd, ani nem\u011bl moc z\u00e1jem. P\u0159esto se dr\u017eela nad\u011bje, \u017ee se to v\u0161e jednoho dne zm\u011bn\u00ed. Dostala radu, \u017ee v t\u00e9to \u201esp\u0159\u00edzn\u011bn\u00e9 du\u0161i\u201c vid\u00ed odraz sv\u00e9ho ztracen\u00e9ho bratra a \u017ee<\/strong> kdy\u017e si zpracuje ten zamotan\u00fd vztah mezi n\u00ed a dvoj\u010detem, toto nam\u00e1hav\u00e9 poblouzn\u011bn\u00ed (zamilovanost) se v\u00fdrazn\u011b sn\u00ed\u017e\u00ed a bude ho vid\u011bt jasn\u011bji, takov\u00e9ho, jak\u00fd ve skute\u010dnosti je.<\/strong> O n\u011bkolik t\u00fddn\u016f pozd\u011bji se vr\u00e1tila a bylo jasn\u00e9, \u017ee se j\u00ed nepoda\u0159ilo tuto radu vysly\u0161et, ale nam\u00edsto toho si vybrala pouze to, co sly\u0161et cht\u011bla. To, co sly\u0161ela bylo, \u017ee tento mu\u017e je jej\u00ed znovuzrozen\u00e9 dvoj\u010de a kdyby se osvobodila od toho zamot\u00e1n\u00ed se, pak by mohli b\u00fdt spolu. Jej\u00ed zamilovanost se stala posedlost\u00ed a rychle klesala do hlubok\u00e9 iluze. V t\u00e9to f\u00e1zi ji\u017e trp\u011bla dostate\u010dn\u011b tak, aby mohla vid\u011bt pravdu, a tak byla p\u0159ipraven\u00e1 zp\u0159etrhat vazby, kter\u00e9 ji svazovali jak s tou\u017eebn\u00fdm milencem, tak i s d\u011blo\u017en\u00edm dvoj\u010detem.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

STRACH ZE Z\u00c1VAZKU<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

D\u011blo\u017en\u00ed dvoj\u010data maj\u00ed probl\u00e9m vytvo\u0159it hlub\u0161\u00ed z\u00e1vazky ve vztaz\u00edch. Ve sv\u011btle toho, co se odehr\u00e1lo v\u00a0d\u011bloze, se nen\u00ed \u010demu divit. Ten prvotn\u00ed vztah v\u00a0d\u011bloze se p\u0159eru\u0161il, a tak znovu opravdu milovat a b\u00fdt zran\u011bn by otev\u0159elo to star\u00e9 zran\u011bn\u00ed. Mnoho p\u0159e\u017eiv\u0161\u00edch dvoj\u010dat bude cht\u00edt u\u010dinit z\u00e1vazek, ale zpanika\u0159\u00ed p\u0159edt\u00edm, ne\u017e to potvrd\u00ed (form\u00e1ln\u011b schv\u00e1l\u00ed).<\/strong> P\u0159\u00edkladem jsou svatby, kter\u00e9 jsou zru\u0161eny na posledn\u00ed chv\u00edli bez jak\u00e9hokoliv d\u016fvodu krom\u011b tohoto strachu. D\u011blo\u017en\u00ed dvoj\u010data \u010dasto c\u00edt\u00ed, \u017ee dokonce i kdy\u017e ve sv\u00e9 mysli u\u010din\u00ed celo\u017eivotn\u00ed z\u00e1vazek jako je man\u017eelstv\u00ed, zanechaj\u00ed si \u00fanikovou cestu v\u00a0jejich srdc\u00edch. Intenzita n\u00e1sledn\u00fdch zamilovanost\u00ed je pak doslova smete, zp\u016fsob\u00ed, \u017ee hod\u00ed opatrnost do v\u011btru, a d\u011blaj\u00ed nerozumn\u00e9 volby, kter\u00fdch pozd\u011bji v\u00e1\u017en\u011b lituj\u00ed. Osoba, kter\u00e1 je s\u00a0d\u011blo\u017en\u00edm dvoj\u010detem v\u00a0man\u017eelstv\u00ed, m\u00e1 \u010dasto z\u00e1sadn\u00ed pocit, \u017ee tam je je\u0161t\u011b n\u011bkdo, dokonce i kdy\u017e tomu nic objektivn\u011b nenasv\u011bd\u010duje, \u017e\u00e1dn\u00fd d\u016fkaz, kter\u00fd by tento pocit podpo\u0159il. To je v\u0161ak podv\u011bdom\u00e1 realita, n\u011bkdo tam je! Partner je v\u017edy v\u00a0konkurenci s\u00a0druh\u00fdm dvoj\u010detem a tady nen\u00ed \u017e\u00e1dn\u00e1 sout\u011b\u017e, proto\u017ee to ztracen\u00e9 dvoj\u010de v\u017edy vyhraje. To v\u0161e bude prob\u00edhat, dokud nedojde k uv\u011bdom\u011bn\u00ed si dynamiky nev\u011bdom\u00ed a pak teprve bude mo\u017en\u00e9 stvrdit ostatn\u00ed z\u00e1vazky.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CO S T\u00cdM?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Jak u\u017e je uvedeno v\u00fd\u0161e, je t\u0159eba si uv\u011bdomit a pochopit vztah, kter\u00fd ke sv\u00e9mu ztracen\u00e9mu dvoj\u010deti m\u00e1te, tzn. pochopit a zpracovat emoce s t\u00edm spojen\u00e9.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ostatn\u011b ta obrovsk\u00e1 p\u0159ita\u017elivost k nefunk\u010dn\u00edm partner\u016fm d\u00e1v\u00e1 logiku, proto\u017ee oni\/y n\u00e1m jen zrcadl\u00ed na\u0161e hlubok\u00e9 zran\u011bn\u00ed s dvoj\u010detem spojen\u00e9 – podobn\u00e9 se p\u0159itahuje. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Je to jako byste v tom druh\u00e9m cht\u011bli zachr\u00e1nit sami sebe. Chcete tam pro n\u011bj b\u00fdt, proto\u017ee sami jste pot\u0159ebovali, aby tam pro V\u00e1s n\u011bkdo byl, kdy\u017e V\u00e1s dvoj\u010de opustilo. Jen\u017ee takov\u00fd partner bude m\u00edt tak\u00e9 spoustu probl\u00e9m\u016f s\u00e1m se sebou a bude V\u00e1s vtahovat do jeho obrann\u00fdch strategi\u00ed a her, z \u010deho\u017e pak vznikaj\u00ed dramata.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dokud si vztah se sv\u00fdm dvoj\u010detem nepol\u00e9\u010d\u00edte, neo\u0161et\u0159\u00edte si zran\u011bn\u00ed , kter\u00e1 s t\u00edm souvis\u00ed, nem\u016f\u017eete nav\u00e1zat opravdov\u00fd partnersk\u00fd vztah, s n\u011bk\u00fdm, kdo nebude jen odleskem Va\u0161eho vztahu s dvoj\u010d\u00e1tkem – odleskem r\u00e1je, kter\u00fd jste spole\u010dn\u011b v d\u011bloze pro\u017e\u00edvali.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u010c\u00e1sti textu jsou p\u0159elo\u017eeny a upraveny z knihy The Twinless Self: Understanding the loss of a wombtwin, identification of symptoms, healing and integration \u2013 a comprehensive guide, ancestral implecations (Fr. Jim Cogley, 2018).<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Syndrom mizej\u00edc\u00edho dvoj\u010dete a psychick\u00e9 dopady na p\u0159e\u017eiv\u0161\u00ed dvoj\u010de<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[13,10,9,7,11,5,12],"class_list":["post-712","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-syndrom-mizejiciho-dvojcete","tag-pozustale-dvojce","tag-prenatalni-psychologie","tag-prenatalni-trauma","tag-prezivsi-dvojce","tag-spriznena-duse","tag-syndrom-mizejiciho-dvojcete","tag-vztahy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jsemtuprotebe.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/712","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jsemtuprotebe.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jsemtuprotebe.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jsemtuprotebe.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jsemtuprotebe.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=712"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/www.jsemtuprotebe.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/712\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":984,"href":"https:\/\/www.jsemtuprotebe.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/712\/revisions\/984"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jsemtuprotebe.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=712"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jsemtuprotebe.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=712"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jsemtuprotebe.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=712"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}